Point B:

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL ON NON-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION

To the birthparents (regarding the adoptive parents)

• Section where they lived

• Age, race, education and religion

• Other children, if yes, biological or adopted

• Common interests with birthparents

• Hobbies for both mother & father

• Length of marriage

• Does the wife work outside of home

As a birthmom, if I would have had this information I would have had a little bit of a peaceful feeling reading about the adoptive parents of my little girl. NONE of the questions can identify who the parents are in any way. A lot of the questions will be the same ones asked on the birthparents form. The critical piece of this is that on each form every question MUST be answered TRUTHFULLY. MANY TIMES IN THE PAST THIS IS NOT THE CASE. It is worse for the adoptee and it must be STOPPED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Point A:

We had been dating for awhile and decided that our relationship was possibly ready for that next step. Being crazy in love, we wanted the next step but not the responsibilities that could possibly come with that step, so off I went to get on the pill. It was the 1980’s and most girls were going to your local PP. Our PP was only open two days a week and only after school hours one of those. I knew all my life I was adopted, so I had witnessed the medical forms saying “No Medical History” but this time was different. I knew that slipped in the cover of my baby book was this packet of papers. Inside that packet was something my mom showed me years early saying it was what medical history they were given by the agency. I now know this was my Non-identifying information. So back to the appointment, I decided to grab those papers and take them with me. The nurse brought me back to the room and let me know that because I was adopted and because my non-id stated my paternal grandma had diabetes I would have to come back tomorrow fasting so they could draw some blood. GREAT! How is that going to work with school? So I decided to skip it. I made plans to go down to the farm to enjoy a late breakfast after my appointment with my boyfriend. He was a wonderful cook. We never really discussed why I had to have the blood work until I got to his home. Then all of a sudden, he said, “I’m adopted too!” I immediately started asking those questions that I knew the answers for my own origins, “Where were you born? Did your parents use an agency? How old was your mom?” These were just a few of the things on my non-id. It also included school complete, grandparents ages, grandparent work, and number of siblings of the biological parents. This particular day, I asked to see his papers. Like most adoptees, he knew exactly where his mom kept them.

Luckily for us, there was no way we could be related. Nothing on the non-id matched up to each other. I am happy to report that the adoptee I was dating is now my husband of 32 years. I now know that my non-id was incorrect about diabetes, my paternal grandmother had Lupus. We are not sure why or how that got into my non-identifying info. It was on this day that I knew I would marry this man. I saw something in him that I also saw in me.

Image descriptions:

1. Cream quote card with abstract shapes — A minimalist cream background with small orange and coral doodles. Centered text block labeled “2:5” and “Point A,” followed by a reflective quote attributed to Leah Raeder from Unteachable.

2. Identity/Non-Identifying Info graphic — Half of a young woman’s face in black-and-white with a large question mark overlaid. Bold headline reads “NON-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION,” with the phrase “who am I” styled to the right. A black footer strip contains “Point B” and the series mark.