How Did I Not Know
Point B:
We both have agreed that one of the things that adoption has robbed from us is our history before reunion. This is especially true of your childhood history. This isn’t unique to us. It is part of adoption. I believe it is one of the very important factors that your parents that raised you are your parents. I cannot nor will I ever attempt to take their place.
One of the many wonderful treasures of reunions is forming our own history. I already have more cherished gems in our chest that it is overflowing.
This year on your birthday we were meeting for lunch so I was planning on baking your first birthday cake from me. THEN I PANICKED! I had no idea what was your favorite kind of cake! I couldn’t believe it because we had talked until our voices were hoarse from laughter and a few times cried until the tears quit running down our cheeks. How had we missed talking about something fun and personal?
“A Few of Our Favorite Things”
Point A:
The funny thing about likes and dislikes is that they are based on our lifelong experiences. Whether you try or don’t try something could be the result of fear or location or situation or finances or emotions.
I love angel food cake but I also like chocolate. Now, my love from angel food cake came as a little girl because that is what my mom made for my birthday every year (because it was my favorite) but would I love angel food cake if she had made me lemon cake? Sometimes it is the emotion, scent, or taste that enhances our likes.
I have always been a people-pleaser, worrying about what others think of me. Growing up, I would like or dislike something based on whether the crowd I was with liked it or didn’t. This innate desire to be liked (or to fit in) was with me from the beginning but a trait I did not recognize until I was older. My choice of music and playing an instrument was based on my desire to fit into my dad’s life. My determination to learn to cross-stitch was to have something in common with my mom. Neither of these worked for me…
I supposed this is not particularly different from many others in the world, but I can tell you: it is definitely akin to what many other adoptees describe. In my life, I have gone from hating chocolate to loving it, from being a vegetarian to ravaging meat, from Willie Nelson to Metallica and sooooo many more.
Hell, I don’t even know how I like my eggs!
Image Descriptions
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Favorite Things Banner (Image 1) – Snowcapped mountain backdrop with colorful triangular flags strung across, reading: “These are a few of my favorite things.”
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Eggs Image (Image 2) – Two cracked eggs with runny yolk spilling over spoons against a black background. Text overlay: “I don’t even know how I like my eggs!”