Shame, Guilt, and the Weight of Adoption: A Birthmother & Adoptee’s Reflection
Point A:
\We are used to hearing 'What a difference a day can make?!' But what about a year? This is exactly what I thought about after the initial shock of having my emergency C-Section. As we looked into that adorable little face of our new bouncing baby boy, all I could think about was how I am only one year older than my BirthMom. No, I didn’t lose any sleep over it, but to think that I was married, having my first child and was only 19 years old. That is only 1 year older than you were! ... How could you go on living once you left the hospital?
Point B:
I’ll never forget my shock when I first told Point C that I had decided to search for you. He told me that his children grew up their entire life knowing about your birth. This possibility never crossed my mind. ... It’s the shame and guilt I feel about myself surrounding your adoption. ... Guilt binds us to the darkest parts of ourselves. Love releases our guilt and heals old shame.
Image Descriptions
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Point A image: A baby lying down in a white diaper with an overlay quote: “There is a power that comes over women when they give birth... Sheryl Feldman.”
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Point B image: An illustrated woman with her head down while a finger points at her, overlaid with text: “The difference between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad.’”