Ups, Downs, and Healing: Adoption’s Ride Through NAAM

Point A:

Well #NAAM is coming to an end today. I had good intentions of posting more blogs but as you can see it didn’t happen. Here is why: adoption is hard!

There are many Adoptees who get triggered during this month by all the grandiose pro adoption articles, photos and blog posts. It is rare that people truly listen to the words of those that have lived it. We often feel our words fall silent on ears unwilling to listen.

Even after 25 years of reunion and finding myself as an adoptee rights activist I still suffer with feelings I can’t explain. So I needed some time away from the adoptee realm for some self-care.

Even after all that I wouldn’t change a thing. I will continue on. You see I like the roller coaster ride! Wouldn’t life be so boring if you only rode the merry go round?!

Point B:

During NAAM, it helps me to read the different opinions and stories of adoptees. I feel like I can always learn something from their perspective. Even after being in our 25yr awesome reunion, it is very important to me to understand some of the feelings surrounding adoption. Of course, I will never truly be able to feel the feelings you carry inside you. I’m sure every birthmother has her own feelings concerning adoption but I think there is a common feeling for my generation. Many of us were forced into the decision of adoption and were sent away from home to live in unwed mother’s homes. The stigma attached to us during that era is felt deep within us. With the change of times, support groups, counseling and successful reunions, that stigma has gone away. However, even though I have experienced positive reactions when I share our story I still carry those negative feelings about myself. Most of the time, I feel like I am seeing myself in the distorted mirror at the amusement park. I hope that by talking to more and more people about our story it will help them realize that both adoptees and birthparents have very personal feelings about it.

But without a doubt, our reunion is worth more than I ever imagined. So we will continue to go to the amusement park and meet each other at the ferris wheel and look out to our future.

Image Descriptions

Image 1 (Roller Coaster Quote)

• A roller coaster silhouette at sunset, the sky washed in warm orange and pink tones.

• Text overlay:
  “You know. When I was nineteen. Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
  Up, down. Up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know.
  It was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together!
  Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it. – Grandma, Parenthood”

Image 2 (Birthmother Identity Quote)

• Background shows two carnival funhouse mirrors with distorted reflections.

• Bold text overlay reads:
  “I am a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, wife, mother, neighbor, coworker and I am a… BIRTHMOTHER!!! Questions???… Just ask!”